Speak Up!
Teaching Children How to Use Their Voice
Written by Annie Curtis
The Wisdom of Ecclesiastes
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. There is a time to keep silent, and a time to speak." Eccl. 3:1,7.
The book of Ecclesiastes offers timeless wisdom that speaks beautifully to our children’s growth. As they mature, so does their ability to ask questions and make sense of the world around them. There is a time to be silent and a time to speak, and learning when to do each is key. When we help our children embrace this truth, they come to understand that their voice matters, and so does the ability to listen with care.
AI Design by Candi
Featuring vibrant, multi-colored clothing on diverse children, symbolizing the boldness, individuality, and confidence that comes from learning to use their voice.”
Teaching Self-Advocacy
Speaking up is powerful when it is presented with truth and conviction but silence is golden. Silence allows time for reflection, and understanding. When children know the difference between the two, it is considered wisdom and that’s when self-advocacy begins.
At every stage, children learn age-appropriate ways to speak up for themselves. Self-advocacy is not about creating demanding students, but about empowering them to communicate their needs respectfully and to stand up for themselves appropriately.
Learning Foundational Skills
Small children begin to advocate for themselves when they learn to describe situations and events. This foundational skill is, in many ways, is the cornerstone of self-advocacy. When a child can say, “Johnny took my crayon during art time,” they are taking their first steps toward effective communication and problem-solving. Those simple but powerful words teach them that their experiences matter, and that adults are there to help when they can tell them what’s happening.
As children progress, their ability to describe situations becomes more advanced. They learn to provide background information, explain the order of events, and distinguish between what they see and what they feel. The key is helping them recognize that their observations and experiences are important and need to be shared.
Explaining Different Perspectives
In middle school, students show growth in self-advocacy when they can share their own point of view, especially in situations where perceptions differ.This shift marks a significant step in their development as they begin to speak up for themselves in thoughtful and respectful ways.
For example, a student might tell a teacher, “I know Jake says I started the argument, but I was just trying to help and he got upset.” Being able to see both sides and clearly explain their own perspective is an important skill for building healthy relationships and resolving conflict. They begin to understand that speaking up isn’t about proving someone else wrong; it’s about making sure their voice is heard and their experience is understood.
Understanding Complexities
High school students advocate for themselves independently when they begin to understand complex situations such as handling school policies, and using those rules to advocate with teachers and administrators. This represents the most mature form of self-advocacy, as teenagers learn to work within established systems while pursuing their own rights.
By understanding their rights and responsibilities within the school, students learn how to process grade appeals, request accommodations, and address concerns effectively through the proper channels. Knowing when to listen and when to speak, they learn to balance respect for authority with the confidence to advocate for their needs, presenting their case professionally while following established rules and procedures. This level of advocacy demonstrates highly advanced skills that will serve them well in college and beyond.
Creating Supportive Environments
Children develop strong self-advocacy skills when they are in environments where their voices are heard, valued, and respected. Supportive and safe spaces that encourage thoughtful expression and mutual respect lay the foundation for confident communication. When parents and other adult figures consistently model active listening and respond with care, they build trust and reinforce the value of each child’s perspective.
The Ultimate Goal
The wisdom of Ecclesiastes reminds us that timing is everything. Teaching children self-advocacy includes helping them develop the judgment to know when their voice is needed and when listening and patience serve them better. It teaches them to use their voice effectively and with purpose. Ultimately, the goal is to raise children who become adults capable of clearly describing their experiences, understanding and respecting different perspectives, and navigating complex systems to meet their needs and create positive change.
